Miraculous Mistakes
by elric0sis
Summary: Is it a miracle? Or is it a terrible terrible mistake? Who knew this is what would happen after a night of love? KisaIta KakuHida SasoDeiMada love triangle Rated for language and possible smut!
1. Night of Celebration

AU: I know what you're going to say... I REALLY shouldn't be starting a new series huh?... I just suddenly got my writer's block broken down though! I finally found inspiration for a new story~! *feels proud* So without further ado, I introduce my story~ This will be a multi-chapter story and I'm trying to go at a new perspective than what I usually do, I would appreciate your thoughts~! DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR ANY PRODUCTS MENTIONED IN THIS STORY!  
>=== Konan and Pein didn't think it would get so out of hand. It was originally suppose to be a small celebration, something just meant to reward their members for a job well done so far in capturing the biju. Nothing big. But of course, due to a certain origami mistress's yaoi fetish, the akatsuki leader was now dumping a whole bottle of Viagra into a punch bowl. Pein sighed heavilly as he tossed the small white bottle into the trash, Konan going around and putting small purple pills into the individual plates of food designated for the members. She immediately stashed the small pill bottle as the members began filing into the small, brightly decorated space known as the living room, each of them taking in the sight before them.<p>"Uh...What..the Fu-"<p>

"CAKE HMMMN!" Deidara cried, interrupting Hidan a he launched himself at the table and practically inhaled the slice of cake before him. The Jashinist growled and was about to spout off some colorful words when the other members trampled over him to get to the party.

"JASHIN DAMMIT! They better have some fucking good ass cake!" Kakuzu sighed as Hidan stormed after the others.

"Oh shut up and enjoy it for once." The miser grumbled and removed his mask long enough to take a generous gulp of the punch. Kisame sighed and watched as everyone dug in, taking a small silver flask from his akatsuki cloak and flipped over the top, taking a long drink.

"Ah~ Captain, you are helping me through this night." The shark mumbled, stashing his flask away for later use. This was going to be one long night.

Kisame awoke with a groan to a brightly lit room and a skull splitting headache. He flopped back onto the comfy bed, the springs creaking in protest at his weight. He smiled in euphoria, feeling a tingling sensation down below.

"NNnnnn~~ Seems I got lucky after all." He chuckled and rolled over, looking over the bump in the bed. "Lets see who the lucky one was~"

Kisame purred out and pulled back the covers, his eyes practically bulging out of his head as his jaw dropped. Itachi grumbled in his sleep as the covers were pulled off, shifting and snuggled into the warm blue body next to him.

"Nnn~" The weasel yawned and pressed closer to the blue mass.

The shark stared wide eyed at his partner, correction, his NAKED partner. 'Had we really...And...With Itachi?' Kisame had a slight panic attack until he realized something. His partner was a sexy sexy guy! Why was he so upset? The blue man chuckled at his own foolisness and layed back down next to his raven haired partner, wrapping a strong blue arm around his waist. Little did he know that they would soon become even closer very soon.

=== 


	2. Morning After

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!  
>===<p>The first sensation Itachi felt when he woke up was something equivalent to heaven. Such a soft bed with heat radiating off the body next to him, the sun hidden away behind black and blue curtains and a wonderful warm feeling throughout his stomach and chest. It had to be the most beautiful experience he had ever had, with the only two exceptions being when his brother was born and the act he and his partner commited the night prior. At this moment the most lovely of images flooded Itachi's mind, scenes of sweaty bodies pressing close to eachother as if to mold into one being, blue disappearing into ivory white, and a grand finale of white lightning to finish it all off. Then the pain set in.<p>

The weasel groan in discomfort as the infamous uke pain set into his lower back and rear. How did people handle this, this monstrocity of a pain? This was worse than getting your eyes raked out with a lemon covered kunai! A flashback to his previous thoughts however reminded him of the marvelous finish and flood of relief he had gone through. Eh, the pain was worth it.

Itachi set up and rubbed his all seeing eyes wearily, glancing at the small clock set on the wooden nightstand next to the bed. 10:15 Am. Was it so late already? He tried to get out of bed but strangely enough something strong and hard held him down and in place. The raven haired man looked down to see a thick blue arm wrapped around his waist, the hand resting on his hip. He smiled softly to himself as his hand followed the apendage up to it's owner, his very own partner in love and crime Kisame. The weasel leaned over and planted a small kiss on the blue man's cheek, smiling as the action pulled a happy sigh from those slightly chapped lips. The Uchiha decided against getting out of bed despite the time and instead curled back up against his lover's chest, slowly closing his eyes to rest and go back to sleep...

Immediately a nauseating sensation washed over him. On second thought, Itachi REALLY had to get out of bed. He sighed and sat up again, skillfully running his fingers up his partners arm to a small pressure point on his neck, the arm instantly unlatching itself from his waist and lay numbly on the bed. Itachi hurried out of bed and into the bathroom, curling himself over the porcealin bowl as he regurgitated all of his stomaches contents as well as a decent amount of white substance.

Kisame woke instantly from his land of slumber at the sound of Itachi's wretches, pulling himself out of bed and walked to the bathroom entrance pearing inside. "Itachi-san? Are you ok?..."

The glare Kisame received was enough to explain, 'No I'm not ok otherwise I wouldn't be choking up my stomach, Kisame.'

The shark man sighed softly and went over kneeling by his partner and placed his hand on his back softly. The muscles tensed under the large hand, then relaxed as his lover started rubbing small circles, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Once Itachi finished he cleaned up promptly and began furiously scrubbing the acid from his mouth, all the while Kisame analyzing what had happened.

Drinking + Sex = Sick Itachi = ...

Kisame's head started to hurt. Math was never his strong suit. Instead he took to continuing to comfort his little weasel.

"Good morning my lovely little koi~~~ How did you sleep~?"

"Hn."

"Thats good~ I slept well too, infact it was the best sleep I've ever had!"

"Hn."

"You ok Itachi?"

"Hn."

"Itachi... Itachi...Itachi...Itachi...Itachi"

Itachi's right eye started to twitch slightly, his headache increasing with every mention of his name.

"Ita-"

"Kisame. dear kami I think I love you but screw off."

Kisame stared and a big smile broke out across his face. "Love? Really? That's great because I love you too!" And with that he scooped up the smaller man into his arms and cuddled him. Itachi blushed and sighed heavilly. Maybe today was a good day after all.

The Akatsuki gathered in the living room around noon, most of the other members still in their pajamas while Pein looked over them critically. He let out a loud sigh and cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"Now that you're all here...Hey, where's Deidara?"

Sasori grumbled and replied "He's in the bathroom. He had an upset stomach this morning, probably from drinking his ass off last night."

Kisame snickered. "Or the fact that you guys were going at it like rabbits last night." He laughed, earning a hard smack from Itachi.

Sasori looked over at him lazily. "I wasn't the only one you know. Madara was helping me. Plus dont think I didn't hear you guys."

Itachi's eyes widened a fraction of an inch. "Oji-sama(1) did that...with that... I think I'm going to be sick again." Kisame laughed as Madara smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Dont think just because I'm old I can't get it on. I'm just more experienced." He laughed as Itachi's face took a slint tint of green. "Oh come on Itachi, obviously you like a little older men hn? Kisame, how much older than him are you again? 11 years? Aren't you going on 30 soon?" (2)

Kisame blushed a dark purple as the other members snickered, grumbling on about perverted Uchihas. Pein sighed and cleared his throat again.

"Actually this is what we wanted to talk to you guys about..." Pein paused as Deidara entered the room and practically bolted to Sasori's and Madara's sides. "As I was saying... Konan and I spiked your drinks last night with some Viagra...But apparently Konan mistook the 'magic blue pill for the middle aged man' for her ovary enhancer and egg producer." He sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that day as his so called 'genius organization' gave him blank stares.

"To put it short and sweat, congrats guys! You're pregnant."  
>=== DUN DUN DUN! Finally we get to this point!<br>(1) Oji-sama means Uncle in Japanese (2) Yes Kisame is really 11 years older than Itachi in the anime and manga series, so he is in this one too! Itachi is 18 so Kisame is 29 


	3. The Situation

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!  
>===<p>The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a kunai as the akatsuki stared at their orange haired leader in shock. Of course at this point a certain green haired cannibal had to speak up.<p>

"So...Everyone who were bottom last night...is pregnant?"

Pein nodded and watched as different expressions of emotions were expressed on his members faces. Suddenly Kisame snorted and started laughing his ass off, standing up.

"I dont know about any of you but I call bullshit. There's no way that our MALE lovers can be pregnant right? Seriously Pein, that was a great try, but you never did have a good sense of humor-"

"Do you think this is FUNNY Kisame?" Itachi said cooly, his sharingan activated and directed at him. "You think this whole situation is a joke?"

Kisame paled slightly and watched his younger partner. "No Itachi it's just-"

Itachi let out a low growl and stood up. "You think that being reduced to helpless fools with a, a mistake growing in their abdomen is a sort of punch line? We could be killed at any time these next couple of months, if we even decide to keep them! Do you want that Kisame? So you want us all fucking dead?" Itachi panted slightly after his long rant, growling.

Kisame just stood there pale as a sheet and confused. "Umm...N-No?...I dont know..."

Itachi's eyes narrowed and growled, mumbling a quick fire jutsu and blew a long stream of fire from his lips, watching as flames barely missed Kisame's head and walked off down the hall. Kisame meeped as the fire barely missed the side of his head and looked after him like a lost puppy as the other members extinguished the flames.

"Ita..."  
>===<p>

Later that night Ksiame, Kakuzu, Sasori, Madara, Zetsu and Pein were all around the kitchen table drinking a jar of sake each. They talked of life as ninja, great battles in their past, and of course of their preference in men. Kisame just stared into his sake cup deep in thought, his stomach swirling with heavy emotions from earlier that day. How was he going to make this up to Itachi? Will the raven ever take him back? Would he even want to keep their child? The conversation soon bubbled down to a darker topic: their pregnant partners. All of the men at the table murmured and slurred out short sentences, no one really wanting to dive into the topic.

"I dunno wat I wanna do" Kakuzu slurred out, sitting back in his seat. "I mean, Hidan'sss hawt and all, but I dont wanna a fuckin' little monster runnin' around. They take up too much time and money. Besidess, I (hic) dont wanna be around that prick any more than I hafta now. He's just gonna get even more emotional and annoying than usual" The miser slurred out his words leaving everyone else speechless and silently agreeing, although none of them would admit it.

They were all too lost in their liquid courage to notice a flash of silver disappearing around a corner faster than it appeared.  
>===<p>

Deidara hummed a light tune as he walked down the hallway towards his room. The new episode of 'Pimp My Village' was on tonight, and he would be damned if he missed it! He slowed down as he passed by a certain Jashinist's room, hearing sobs from inside. That couldn't be right, all the semes were in the kitchen so the only one in there would be Hidan. But he didn't cry, did he? The blond bomber decided not to dwell on it for too long, instead quickening his pace to his room and to his beloved show.  
>=== <p>


	4. Month 1

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!  
>===<p>

Kakuzu ducked again as a desk was hurled out of the open door, holding his hands up in defense.

"Hidan I didn't mean to-"

"Shut the hell up Kakuzu!" Hidan growled and threw their dresser at him, screaming in frustration when it missed the miser. "I wish you would just fucking die already! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"

Kakuzu sighed heavilly and tried again to calm his uke. "But Hidan I love you, you know how I get when I'm drunk, it was all a misunder- FUCK HIDAN!" The stitched man growled as his white haired lover hit him dead center of his forehead with the lamp.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET YOU BITCH!" The Jashinist growled and slammed the door, locking it.

Kakuzu sighed heavilly and walked off towards the infirmary, walking inside. "Zetsu I need some bandages or something..." The miser trailed off when he saw Kisame and Itachi laying in separate beds covered in bandages.

"What the hell happened to you two?" He managed to sputter out, still in shock at his teammate's condition.

Kisame grumbled softly. "Itachi's chakra signature is sparratic because of the baby... We were practically holding up a bright neon sign saying 'Two ex-nins right here Konoha! Come and get us!' On our mission."

Itachi growled. "I apologize for telling you so before we left on the mission, Mr. 'We'll be fine as long as I'm around to mask it'."

The shark man huffed. "It's not my fault you can't control your chakra..."

"What did you say?..." The temperature in the room suddenly dropped a couple hundred degrees from the tension building.

Kakuzu hurriedly stepped in before the blue man was turned to sushi. "Alright, I'm guessing that means no more missions right? Good, rest up and get better...And Kisame?"

The shark looked up at him in annoyace. "What?"

"Try not to piss off the overly hormone proned Uchiha. Unless you want to say goodbye to your male I.D. card." The stitched man put a smile face bandaid on his forehead before walking out, leaving behind an exhausted weasel and pale shark.  
>===<p>

"But Danna I'm huuuuungry un~~~~" Deidara whined to the red head, sitting on the Akatsuki's couch. "And my feet hurt un~~~ And I'm getting cramps un~~~ and and and, Unnnnnn~~~!"

Sasori growled. "I'll be right back brat, jeez!" He walked to the kitchen and took out a chef's knife to chop up some fruit. The puppet took a long hard look at the knife, contemplating if he should start carving out his ears now or later. A low chuckled adverted the red head from his dark thoughts, seeing Madara leaning against the door too the kitchen. "What do you want Madara?"

The old Uchiha chuckled again and straightened his posture. "Oh, just waiting for you to fall. Sempai will be all mine for the picking~"

The puppet growled and pointed the knife towards him. "That brat is mine. Just because of the three way we had doesn't automatically make you the love of his life. Besides, that child is as much mine as it is yours and you better start helping me out if you ever want to be a part of it's life."

Madara suddenly grew silent and glared at him. "Deidara is MY lover, and that child is mine. Let's make a deal, Sasori. If the child is mine, Deidara will belong to me. If the child is yours, then Ill be happy to leave you two alone. We will both take care of him though until that child is born." The leader turned to leave.

Sasori smirked. "It's a deal then Madara. Prepare to go back to that dustbowl you call a heart, because the brat is mine." He chuckled and fininshed cutting up the fruit, adding them to a small bowl and walked out of the kitchen happily, handing it to the blonde sitting on the couch.

"Here's your fruit my love~"

Deidara stared at the fruit and looked up at him. "I'm not hungry for fruit anymore un. Do we have chocolate un?"

Sasori started to seriously consider about the whole deaf thing again.  
>===<p>

Pein chuckled softly and rose from his desk, turning off the survailence monitors he had set up. "Ahh~ Those poor fools. Being held down by a single person and your spawn for the rest of your life? What a joke. A man with a child clinging to his leg, while running from his home country? That would be an interesting sight to see.."

Konan walked in lightly, a small smile on her face. "Oh Pein~~~ I have a surprise for you~~"

The oragen haired man smiled at the love of his life and cooed. "What is it my love~~~?" Her once innocent smile turned slightly evil.

"I'm pregnant."  
>===<p> 


	5. Month 3

Au: O.o Yes! This story is still alive! *sweatdrops* Just on the back burner while I worked on Two Truth's and a Lie...I deeply apologize... *bows* But as you can see, there is another chapter up~! Yay! XD So please enjoy~!  
>DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!<br>===

Sasori panted heavilly, constantly watching his back as he took cover in the conference room. He dived behind the flipped over table only to find Kakuzu, Pein and Kisame cowering behind it as well.

"Wait, what the hell are you guys doing here?" Sasori asked, confusion evident in his voice.

Kakuzu looked at him with wide eyes. "Hidan wants a specific kind of chocolate... And like hell am I going to let him use my money to buy a crapload of chocolate that he won't want anymore after one bite."

Pein's normal ashen skin was unusally pale. "Konan is pregnant... And she found a super powered magnet..."

Kisame looked the worst of all, the big strong, masculine shark was currently curled up in the fetal position, his eyes as large as saucers. "Itachi is craving sushi."

Sasori sighed heavilly and slumped agains the table. "And Deidara is so, so...DEMANDING! I can't get a breath in between all of his whining and 'Danna this' 'Danna that', UGH..."

The other semes nodded in agreement, all of them letting out girly shrieks as the table was moved aside. Madara looked over at his, er, "strong willed members". "Kisame. I need you."

The big blue man instantly went rigid and let out a sound that sounded like a sob as he was dragged away. Sasori sighed again. "He will be missed."  
>===<p>

Kisame grunted as he was shoved against a cold stone wall, looking up at the leader with surprise and confusion. "What are you-" He yelped as a fist connected with his cheek, the sound of bone grinding against eachother ringing through his ears.

"Madara what the hell?" The shark instantly rose to his feet, blocking the next punch. He fell though when a knee jammed into his rib cage, gasping for air.

"Kisame. Listen to me." The Uchiha hovered over his face, grabbing his chin and yanked his head straight to make sure he paid attention. "I want you to start thinking with the head on your shoulders instead of the one in your pants. You are a man dammit, and you will start acting like one. Grant it Itachi is scary when he's pissed but you WILL see my nephew through this god forsaken pregnancy if its the last thing you do. I will not allow my only sane relative to be corrupted by his own feelings because he doubts your love for him. Got it?"

Kisame stared at the leader, the words chewing through his heart. "He doubts I love him?..."

Madara nodded, glaring. "What do you expect? You keep running from him, he practically coughs up a lung every morning from the sickness, and he is in constant pain. And where are you? Cowering behind a table and leaving him to the elements."

The shark's heart dropped, guilt radiating off of him. "I... I didn't.."

"You understand what you have to do now, correct?"

Kisame nodded, a flame of determination coming back to his eyes. He rose from his spot on the ground and walked upstairs, searching for his weasel. Madara smiled slightly and hummed. "One down, three to go."  
>===<p>

Kisame didn't have to search long for Itachi, the soft groans of pain and the sparractic chakra led him right to the weasel. Itachi was curled up on the couch in the living room, waves of pain coming from his stomach. The shark peered into the room, a frown crossing his face before walking over to the raven.

"Itachi...koi.."

Itachi looke up with slight surprise that soon turned to a frown. "What do you want?"

Kisame sighed softly and kneeled before him, taking his hand. "I'm so sorry koi... I haven't been there for you.."

"Ya, no shit."

Kisame ignored him, "I've been thinking about myself.. When in reality I should be thinking about you and the baby.. Don't you see Itachi?.. We've created something beautiful together... A child who will love us unconditionally in this world of hate and chaos... And as the father I will do everything in my power to see you through this to make sure they come into this world with care and love to smother them."

Itachi could only stare at his blue partner, a light blush gracing his cheeks. "Kisame... That was beautiful..."

The shark flashed his signature grin. "Hey.. I can be romantic sometimes you know..."

The raven giggled lightly and sat up, wrapping his arms around the blue man. "I love you, you big oaf..."

"I love you too my darling weasel~"  
>===<p>

The next month passed by a little rougher than everyone expected. All missions were put on hold because of the younger member's conditions, yet almost all of the semes still took cover from their ukes. Kisame was the only one who supported and stayed with Itachi, treating him like a god with soft pillows, cuddly plushies and sweets galore. Itachi was a little taken back to say the least, and even a little embarassed at being spoiled, but his confidence in himself as a mother and Kisame as a father grew exponentially.

But of course, the other ukes wanted in on the spoiling too...

"Come on Kisame-kun~! Please please please please please can I have chocolate too?..."

"Kisame~! Can I have a fucking pillow please?"

"Ki~Sa~Me~! I want more fruit un~~~~~~!"

Kisame was practically at his wits end for caring for all of the pregnant ukes in the house, and Itachi was about ready to go on a jealousy spree.

"HE'S MINE DAMMIT!"  
>=== <p>


End file.
